After The Trauma I could "fake it" sometimes but I basically quit caring. I let myself go, physically. Some subconsciously, some due to my back issues. The result is a 100lb weight gain, severe anxiety, & insecurity. I lost my inner goddess.
After being told AGAIN that I only need to lose weight to be rid of the back ailments, I decided to act. On a whim I googled "pole dance classes" & found Studio 7. That was last Wednesday.
Keep in mind, I am a former Hootets girl, & I'm no stranger to pole dancing, but I am so out of touch when it comes to my sensuality, it shocked me. I literally couldn't tap into that part of my past. Slowly as the class progressed I could feel a bit more relaxed & a bit more comfortable with my body. Not in it's current shape, but with it's potential & ability.
Sore everywhere BUT my back, I signed a 1-year contract for unlimited classes. It was fun. I can see this as a way to awaken my inner goddess & to be able to heal more, physically AND mentally. I look forward to it. The instructors are kind, supportive, & empathetic. They have given me a set of rules to start with. They're confident that I can reach my goal of losing 100lbs by next summer as long as I stick with the classes & my diet.
This is huge. I see a faint glimmer of my old self. I will find her again. Watch out world, here I come!!
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