Why sleep?

Doc put me on a new med- took me off the ugly Remeron. Put me on Doxepin. Remerons #1 side effect was weight gain. Doxepin combined with the Effexor & Wellbutrin could/did cause Seratonin Syndrome (hallucinations, among other things). No weight gain. I'm slowly losing. 

Pole dancing is great. I'm losing some of that self conscious hell, I feel more confident, & I'm losing weight. 

I'm not feeling too hot. Tuesday started in a frenzy, ended up feeling gross. Possible side effect or a bug? 

Stuck on some of the older hells. I'm worried that I'm slipping some but I know it's the disease. Stress, exhaustion, & new meds always come with nights like these. Blabbering too... 

Trying to explain this to strangers feels impossible. Today, at 2am, EVERYTHING seems impossible.... *sigh*