Ah one of the highlights of PTSD. Imagine, you're sleeping next to your love, cuddled up contentedly dreaming of tulips & unicorns. Your love however, is reliving their trauma. The next thing you know, your love is screaming in agony & fear.
Feeling terrified, as if you've just relived the worst moment in your life, is terrifying. Waking up confused, not remembering your own bed, not remembering the touch of the one trying to comfort you. Night terrors are a bitch. Flashbacks are too. They come with the territory. Kind of "love me, love my insanity".
Now, triggers. For me it's black men with a certain build, "Under the Bridge", any rape scenes or almost rape scenes on tv/movies, being touched from behind specifically on my right shoulder but anywhere on my back, special forces, older model step-side Chevy's, gas stations especially at night, and big hunting knives. I've melted down at Academy & Bass Pro. I've most it in the car feeling frozen to the point where I can't change the station.
The other down side to this is, evidently since I already have PTSD I'm more prone to developing other triggers. Like when I caught the patient who ruined my back & career. I tried getting back into patient care. I was so scared of being around patients, I was missing easy "sticks" (I'd transferred to phlebotomy briefly). Even babies scared me. Any tragedy, any trauma, is a new door to new triggers & new fears.
I can tackle one at a time. My current therapist is really working with me on coping skills but it's kinda a slap in the face when a new symptom appears.
And by the way, last nights night terror? Was about the loss of a dog in April. Everything traumatic is a trigger. Now what?
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